Adam and Nicole (1976)

Adam and Nicole, originally titled Erotic Inferno, was seasoned sexploitation producer Bachoo Sen’s first film since 1970’s Love is a Splendid Illusion (which I’ve written about here), and the sole directorial effort of Trevor Wrenn, who’d photographed Symptoms and The House That Vanished for José Larraz.  It concerns a pair of brothers, Martin and Paul Barnard (future Emmerdale star Chris Chittell and pretty-eyed Karl Lanchbury), who are summoned to the family home after the death of their father.  Solicitor Mr Gold (Michael Sheard, before gaining TV immortality as Grange Hill’s Mr Bronson) informs them that they won’t be allowed in the house until the reading of the will, and they’re forced to stay in the cottage occupied by their father’s servants, the Adam and Nicole of the title (Michael Watkins and Jenny Westbrook).  As well as chauffeur and procurer of bedmates (including his own lover Nicole) for Mr Barnard, Adam was his eldest (though illegitimate) son, and Martin in particular is terrified he’ll inherit all the old man’s moolah. 

Tensions run high between the three brothers, but this is all very much secondary to the film’s many sexual encounters: it turns out that despite Adam’s possessive attitude toward her, Nicole is more interested in Martin, while Paul instantly gets hot and heavy with Martin’s girlfriend Brenda. There’s also a subplot (well, plot’s stretching it a bit) featuring the lesbian activities of stablehands Gayle (Heather Deeley) and Jane (Mary Maxted, shortly to rename herself Mary Millington and become Britain’s biggest sex star).   In the unlikely event anyone cares enough not to want the twist ending spoiled, look away now: it turns out that old Mr Barnard is still alive and living it up in his mansion with a lively pair of blondes (Lindy Benson and Lynne Worral) – he was just playing a joke on his sons.  Adam is livid, Martin’s relieved, and Paul’s too busy in bed with Brenda to care.

Adam and Nicole is as close as British softcore gets to proper porn: what little story exists is there purely to string together the sex scenes that take up most of the running time.  The performers are generally more convincing when, well, performing, than when they’re delivering dialogue, though Chris Chittell shows some of the same roguish twinkle he still deploys in Emmerdale (no, not that roguish twinkle – thankfully we don’t get to see that).  Tony Kenyon, who plays old Mr Barnard, impresses by giving the worst performance even though he wasn’t hired to get his kit off.   He, Michael Sheard and Brian Hawksley, who plays a vicar – the only three members of the cast to remain clothed throughout - are all listed in the credits as “guest stars”.

Trivia

The music in Adam and Nicole all comes from the KPM library.  Simon Haseley's "Precint", used to soundtrack a sex scene between Martin and Nicole, would have been familiar to viewers as the theme to Jon Pertwee-fronted ITV panel show Whodunnit.